And sometimes life gives you lemonade...

...it's just up to you to drink it. 

This year so far has granted me several opportunities to go back and reconcile with people, issues, and or conflicts from my past. These opportunities are gifts; life-changing moments that have given me the chance to say and feel and connect and do something about the stresses these memories have bound me to for so long. 

It's funny, because I typically deal with conflict through writing and through my music. It's what has kept me from going crazy all these years, especially as a young woman. But I've realized that working through these issues in music is a very solitary, cyclical solution. You write what you feel, tweak it so it sounds right, play it until it feels right, but the message is never really delivered to the person you're writing about. And you end up reliving that pain over and over again each time you get on stage. 

What I've been blessed with recently are second chances to actually connect with people who've wronged me, or whom I've wronged.  I've gotten to interact with them in a way that lifts that historical burden...it has liberated me from feelings of guilt, anger, sadness, remorse, regret... And it has me taking an active role in connecting with the past that has held me down so. 

Now these chances have not come easily - they have been nervous and gut-wrenching and troublesome at times - but they are chances nonetheless. And I've needed courage to take them. But once I have, I feel like I've been rewarded for putting myself out there for those chances to take hold of that emotional ballast and relieve my shoulders of its weight, like air bubbles underwater, expanding as they rise...until they reach the surface and disappear into the great atmosphere above. 

And here's the thing...once out from under the issues, these snippets of 'past', the ghosts that have haunted me all these years, my visions for myself and for what I want are finally coming into view. Clear as day. The energy I have been putting into pain is exponentially better spent on myself and the incredible things I am capable of doing. The world I am capable of actively participating in. The people I am capable of loving...including myself.  Actively letting that pain go by confronting it isn't just good for looking back, but also for looking ahead. Because there are miracles that are happening every day - we just need to be able to recognize them. 

So grab a straw, and drink up. Your life is waiting.